Just Keep Your Mouth Shut!

Posted in Uncategorized by andreajrouda on March 30, 2010

In my continuing series on the stupidity of  mankind, I present to you the following fact as reported in this morning’s Portland Press Herald : The federal government will give the city of Portland $1.8 million for projects aimed at reducing obesity rates. According to surveys, 62% of the adults in Maine are overweight.

The article goes on to say that for years, Portland city officials have “brainstormed ways to combat obesity among children and adults.” Here’s some of the ideas they have come up with:

1. Installing salad bars in schools

2. Encouraging children to walk to school

3. Hiring a nutritionist to analyze meals served at local restaurants

4. Installing 80 bicycle racks around the city

5. Adopting policies to increase physical activity

6. Labeling healthy foods in school cafeterias

7. Creating a bicycle lane, possibly, on a section of Congress Street

You see where I’m going with this: How ridiculous! I especially like Idea #2, and wonder how much of the grant money that will use up. As for the encouragement, I can see it now: “Walk to school every day this week and get a free Happy Meal at McDonald’s!”

Nowhere does it say anything about outlawing the following:

Fritos, Cheetos, Doritos, Pizza Hut, Cinnabon, Dunkin’ Donuts, Arby’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Mrs. Field’s cookies, Sara Lee’s cheesecake, Little Debbie’s everything, Ben & Jerry’s, Baskin Robbins, Pepperidge Farm, Frosted Mini Wheats, Lucky Charms, Dove Bars, Butterfingers, Snickers, Almond Joy, granola, the frozen foods section of the supermarket, Hershey’s Chocolate, Kentucky Fried Chicken, or Starbucks cappuccino or frappucinnos or whatever new drink idea they dream up this week involving mountains of whipped cream and tons of sugar, with of course, some coffee. Oh yeah, and no more hot dog eating contests (see photo).

I guess that nutritionist in Idea #3 has her work cut out for her.


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